Days 23-24 - The One With The Feeding Blues

Monday & Tuesday, November 26 & 27, 2007

Well, Cameron and I are doing well except at meals. He adamantly refuses to eat the food. He will actually swallow some cereal in the mornings but not much. Everything else that makes into his mouth gets spit back out. And that’s if the food even makes it to the mouth because he sometimes starts screaming when the spoon is coming toward him. However, this does not surprise me. I don’t remember if I talked about the way they fed him at the Baby House in an earlier post. They basically had to force food down his throat. I saw him being fed three times and it was extremely difficult to watch. He wanted the bottle but they alternated between spoonfuls of food and the bottle. I think they gave him the bottle mainly to make sure the food went down his throat. Then, he would spend most of our bonding time spitting up. Now, I do want to make one thing clear. The caregivers are not harsh, horrible people. There are typically 2 caregivers for each shift and they are trying to take care of 10-12 babies at the same time. So, unfortunately, the babies have to eat fast. But, it is obvious to me that this feeding experience has traumatized Cameron and is something I will have to work on with him. The formula does not hold him through the night. He is sleeping no more than about 5 hours straight. He goes right back to sleep after another bottle, but I know at almost 10 months of age, I will need to find a way to get food into his system. I am trying to make the experience more pleasant for him. I am not forcing it but I am offering food at every meal even though I know it will probably go to waste. I’m trying to find a fruit he likes first since most kids like fruit because it is sweeter. So far, he did not take to bananas or peaches. These meals are upsetting for us both. It is so hard to see him not eat when I know he needs it. But, we will keep trying. And, of course, he is not going hungry. I keep reminding myself of that point. I have plenty of formula and I have started adding more cereal to the formula. Plus, they give the babies a substance called Kefir here. It is basically drinkable yogurt. He likes it and it is more filling than formula alone.

I knew long before I came to Semey that this week in the apartment with custody would be the hardest and I was right. Homesickness has really set in. Now that the stress of court and wondering if I would get immediate custody is gone, I just want to go home. But, we have to wait on his passport to be processed. And I guess I shouldn’t complain too much since waiting on a passport in the U.S. takes months instead of 7-10 days.

I’ve had some questions about when I can leave Semey and when I will meet back up with Mom. Right now, I’ve been told I will probably leave Semey on Sunday. I should be told more definitively in the next couple of days. Mom and I will also decide in the next couple of days when she will leave SC to meet me in Almaty. She will probably arrive in Almaty maybe Tuesday of next week. I’m really excited about seeing her and knowing every day that passes gets me closer to home.