Well, I am definitely in Wait mode. I was warned that waiting to travel was the hardest part and I now understand. Waiting (i.e. not being in control) is not my strong point and I am becoming increasingly impatient. However, I am trying to focus on the tasks I still need to accomplish before I go. I had a conference call with my agency last week about the documents I will need for travel. There are 3, yes 3, different sets of documents. One for court, one for travel, and one for the Embassy appointment at the end of the trip. Most of the documents I have already had to acquire for my dossier, such as medical forms, FBI fingerprint check, character references, etc. But these docs cannot be more than 6 months old at the court date, so they have to be done again. Sigh! I guess it's kind of like being pregnant and childbirth; you'll forget about the pain and discomfort once you see that little face! That's what I keep reminding myself.
Anyway, I plan to travel blind to Kazakhstan. This means that I will not receive any information about a specific child before I travel. My agency is currently in the process of seleting the region where I will travel. They, of course, will send me to a place that has children available that match the criteria I specified in my dossier. The children in Kaz are absolutely beautiful and diverse. Most of the people are Kazakh which looks very asian. Some people are ethnic Russian and look caucasian. And then many look like a combination of the two. I did not specify ethnicity. I did request a boy under the age of 18 months. Children must be on a registry for 6 months before they can be adopted. So, the babies are usually not younger than 7-8 months before they are adopted. Therefore, my baby will probably fall somewhere in the 8-18 month age range. Makes it a little difficult to pick out clothes at the moment!
In Kaz, you can choose to do one long trip or break it into two. If parents choose to do one trip, they are usually in-country for 7-8 weeks. If you break it into 2, the first trip is approximately 4 weeks and the second trip is about a week with a month in between. You spend 2 weeks bonding everyday with the child in the baby house and then a court date is set. Court happens before you leave on the first trip. After court, there is a 15 day appeal period. This is what causes the trip to be so long. If you do 2 trips, you leave for the 15 day appeal period. I currently plan to do 2 trips so I can come back and work in between. This will allow me more time with my son once home before I have to go back to work. I know leaving after bonding will be very difficult and it is not ideal but I think this will work best for my situation. We'll see. My Mom will travel with me on both trips. She plans to stay for 2 weeks on the first trip and then will travel back with me on Trip 2 to pick him up. Alot of single women do the entire trip alone. I feel very grateful I will not have to go alone. Thanks, Mom!!
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Frequently Asked Questions
Why adoption v. in-vitro fertilization?
This is a very personal decision that every woman (in conjunction with her husband if she has one) makes when deciding how to build her family. I had to decide what my true motivation was for wanting a child. Was it the experience of actually giving birth or the experience of raising a child, or was both really important to me? I just did not feel this overwhelming need to be pregnant and give birth although I do understand why most women do. I just felt like I have been blessed in my life and I want to share my life with a child. Whether that child was tied to me biologically just wasn’t an overriding factor. I knew I was capable of loving a child just as much either way. So, for me, it was a no-brainer. It made the most sense, for my circumstances, to provide a home for a child that is already in the world as opposed to bringing a child into the world via a medical procedure. Besides, I get to skip the baby fat and the hormonal changes, not to mention the pain of childbirth!
Why international adoption v. domestic adoption?
The truth is I really didn’t spend a tremendous amount of time researching domestic adoption because I felt drawn internationally. There is no question that there are many kids in the US that need and deserve loving homes. And as much as our foster care system is in need of reform; at least we have one. This is not true for many other countries. There are hundreds of thousands of children growing up in orphanages just in Eastern Europe alone. And domestic adoption is not nearly as common in those countries as it is in the states. And even though it is possible for singles to be selected by a birthmother for a domestic adoption, it could take a long time. Children adopted from the foster care system have many special needs that require more resources than I felt I could provide as a single mom. So, for those reasons, and because I felt more comfortable with a more predictable timeline and the finality of the adoption once you bring the child home, I chose the international route.
Why Kazakhstan?
Kazakhstan requires a 14-day bonding period. You are required to visit your child for 2 consecutive weeks at the orphanage (usually for 2 hours twice a day) to make sure that the match is a good one. Now, this makes for a longer trip than most of the other countries. You can either do 2 trips with the first trip lasting about 4 weeks and the second trip lasting about a week to 10 days, with a month in between trips. Some families choose to do it in one trip, but this means being in-country approximately 7-8 weeks. From what I can tell, most of the kids seem to transition well once home and it makes sense that the bonding could help greatly with this transition, even with the month in between trips. Plus, Kaz has a great reputation for taking care of the children. From all of the pictures I have seen, the kids do look relatively healthy. Some of the other countries I considered have slowed down in 2007 like Russia and China. And not all countries are open to singles. So, Kazakhstan seemed like the right choice.
This is a very personal decision that every woman (in conjunction with her husband if she has one) makes when deciding how to build her family. I had to decide what my true motivation was for wanting a child. Was it the experience of actually giving birth or the experience of raising a child, or was both really important to me? I just did not feel this overwhelming need to be pregnant and give birth although I do understand why most women do. I just felt like I have been blessed in my life and I want to share my life with a child. Whether that child was tied to me biologically just wasn’t an overriding factor. I knew I was capable of loving a child just as much either way. So, for me, it was a no-brainer. It made the most sense, for my circumstances, to provide a home for a child that is already in the world as opposed to bringing a child into the world via a medical procedure. Besides, I get to skip the baby fat and the hormonal changes, not to mention the pain of childbirth!
Why international adoption v. domestic adoption?
The truth is I really didn’t spend a tremendous amount of time researching domestic adoption because I felt drawn internationally. There is no question that there are many kids in the US that need and deserve loving homes. And as much as our foster care system is in need of reform; at least we have one. This is not true for many other countries. There are hundreds of thousands of children growing up in orphanages just in Eastern Europe alone. And domestic adoption is not nearly as common in those countries as it is in the states. And even though it is possible for singles to be selected by a birthmother for a domestic adoption, it could take a long time. Children adopted from the foster care system have many special needs that require more resources than I felt I could provide as a single mom. So, for those reasons, and because I felt more comfortable with a more predictable timeline and the finality of the adoption once you bring the child home, I chose the international route.
Why Kazakhstan?
Kazakhstan requires a 14-day bonding period. You are required to visit your child for 2 consecutive weeks at the orphanage (usually for 2 hours twice a day) to make sure that the match is a good one. Now, this makes for a longer trip than most of the other countries. You can either do 2 trips with the first trip lasting about 4 weeks and the second trip lasting about a week to 10 days, with a month in between trips. Some families choose to do it in one trip, but this means being in-country approximately 7-8 weeks. From what I can tell, most of the kids seem to transition well once home and it makes sense that the bonding could help greatly with this transition, even with the month in between trips. Plus, Kaz has a great reputation for taking care of the children. From all of the pictures I have seen, the kids do look relatively healthy. Some of the other countries I considered have slowed down in 2007 like Russia and China. And not all countries are open to singles. So, Kazakhstan seemed like the right choice.
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Boys
I keep getting this question from people so I thought I would try to answer it here. Why do I want to adopt a boy instead of a girl? I think any child is truly a blessing from God. However, I have always had a heart for the boys. I have a younger brother who was born when I was 6 years old. Before he was born, I was absolutely adamant that baby would be my little brother. I would not hear of the possibility it could actually turn out to be a little sister instead. I don't know why and only have a very vague recollection of this memory. I believe God was preparing my heart for now, 30-something years later, when I had to decide whether I had a preference for adopting a boy or a girl. It really wasn't much of a decision; I knew immediately a boy would be my preference.
Most families want to adopt an infant girl. So, there do seem to be more boys left behind to live out their lives in the orphanages. While this fact works in my favor because it could mean I travel a little sooner since more boys are available, it was not the primary reason for choosing to adopt a boy. I think it is true that boys tend to be more rambunctious and unpredictable than girls. But I also believe girls are more dramatic and emotional than boys. Of course, there are always exceptions to every rule. Each family has their reasons for wanting one gender over the other and none of those reasons are better than the others. I simply feel a boy is right for me.
Of course, there was never a song entitled "Thank Heaven for Little Boys".
After all this, it's still possible I come home with a little girl. We'll see how it goes...
Most families want to adopt an infant girl. So, there do seem to be more boys left behind to live out their lives in the orphanages. While this fact works in my favor because it could mean I travel a little sooner since more boys are available, it was not the primary reason for choosing to adopt a boy. I think it is true that boys tend to be more rambunctious and unpredictable than girls. But I also believe girls are more dramatic and emotional than boys. Of course, there are always exceptions to every rule. Each family has their reasons for wanting one gender over the other and none of those reasons are better than the others. I simply feel a boy is right for me.
Of course, there was never a song entitled "Thank Heaven for Little Boys".
After all this, it's still possible I come home with a little girl. We'll see how it goes...
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